behind the words.

i am an abuser of words

i manipulate them

& twist them for others. 

i am a coward

i hide behind my words

i never say what i feel in my soul 

some trivial dialogue will always ensue

but even more tragically,

i do not have the strength to speak the truth

nor will i ever be able to admit that you are the only one i could ever want

behind these words, i am dying. 

rearview mirror.

life keeps speeding down a narrow highway

& I keep glancing in the rearview mirror thinking:

did i make the right decisions?

the dream.

i dreamed that my fist made solid contact with your eye socket

the blow was strong and self-assured, unlike my hesitant & cautious soul

you stumbled backward, your mottled purple eye questioning, hurt...

i never imagined it would feel so damn good.

the same old blood rush.

my heart isn't lonely anymore

i've found someone else, who can teach me how to love again

but when i talk to you, it's the same old blood rush

that makes my heart flip with unbridled joy

it makes me wonder:

will the imprint you've left on my heart ever fade?